Hi lovers,
Comin’ atcha after a long-bout of Covid brain fog and general slowing wayyyy the f* down to share some sweet magical links, as well as things for your soul to ponder.
This program from Fanny, the Trauma Witch, about becoming a Resourced Healer looks so juicy and grand. (Registration closes today!) She’s been writing some epic shit about breaking the spell of over-giving and under-receiving, too, that I highly believe all bleeding heart beloveds in service to a more beautiful world aught to read.
Speaking of bleeding heart, something I’ve been musing on A LOT as I lay half-awake, bed-ridden with body ache for the last month or so is the idea that there are multiple matrixes existing simultaneously on this planet. There’s the matrix of war – separation, oppression, systems that harm. And there’s the matrix of right-relationship – nature, the spirit world, the organic regenerative abundance of our planet and all living things (that yes, includes loss and endings and death and destruction, but in a totally different way).
The brainwashing and nervous system hijacking of the matrix of war makes it really hard to see, feel and breathe with the matrix of right-relationship. Even the ways we attempt to heal from and make change to the matrix of war so often employs its very strategies.
I have a new life goal: breathe into the matrix of right-relationship every day in tiny ways. Right here, right now. In my body. In my backyard garden. In challenging conversations. Until eventually, I synch up with the momentum of the matrix I wanna see bloom in the world, more than the matrix that’s perpetuating ongoing harm.
I think so many of us feel responsible for solving systemic injustice by way of force. Forcing ourselves to be better, to do more good, to do less harm. But attempts at saving the day as a single individual amongst nearly 8 billion of us – is its own form of violence. Silly. Harrowing. Ridiculous. Isolating.
Did you know in 2017, 8 individuals (multi-billionaires) owned more wealth that the entire bottom 50% of humans?*
I don’t want to put myself up against that kind of systemic inequity and act like I can somehow be more powerful… at that scale, with those methods. Methods of domination and force, speed and extraction, infinite growth of a colonizing affect.
I want to be more like the moss. The most ancient plant-form on earth that’s learned to both survive and thrive in tiny crevices uninhabitable and undesirable to those with Goliath ambitions.**
I want to be an essence that came far before and will sing and dance far after capitalism comes and goes.
You feel me?
So I’ve been really practicing getting smaller. Sitting at my altar writing my morning pages, rather than rushing my wisdom into sound-bite “solutions”. Staying with my heart and all its unsolvable feelings, rather than intellectualizing fancy “explanations”. Spending 15 minutes a day in the garden rather than visioning a huge strategy for healing climate collapse. Ha.
And somehow, small as moss, I feel more connected to the infinite supply of love and possibility that the matrix of right-relationship provides… than I ever felt while fighting against the matrix of war.
None of this is to co-sign or bypass any of the bs that the matrix of war perpetuates. But it is to declare that perhaps as adrienne maree brown writes in her seminal book, Emergent Strategy, small really is all. Small really is good. The small really is a reflection of the large. The small ripples out in unseen miraculous ways.
If you’re exhausted today, trying to push, fight or force our world to peace, maybe take heed of the moss. Smaller. Stiller. Vastly connected to the roots of all that is. There’s a way to ancient thriving that’s below and beyond the way of our current systems.
I don’t have grand answers or how to’s. Just this quick n’ dirty list of musings from my mossy-heart to yours.
With so much love,
Rachael
*Oneness vs. the 1% by Vindana Shiva
**Gathering Moss by Robin Wall Kimerer
Quick n' dirty list of magic
Thank you for sharing, Rachael. You have your eyes on the real prize. It's so great to be reminded of the earth-based, grounded values that come with wisdom, ofter through suffering.